Heaven or Hell Itachi?
by XxRevengexX
Summary: Itachi dies. And just where does he go? [oneshot]


**Heaven or Hell Itachi?**

**Author: XxReVeNgExX**

**Pairings: None really. **

**Rating: T**

**If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be here making fanfics about it. **

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"Hey! Itachi!", Deidara said, poking Itachi with a twig. Itachi was on the ground, just...laying there, eyes closed. "ITACHI! YOU AWAKE YET?", Deidara said, louder. He poked him again. Itachi didn't budge.

Deidara scowled and stood up. Then he kicked Itachi. "Hello? C'mon you bi-atch!", Deidara yelled, irratated. "It's bright and early! Sun shining, birds singing, the smell of bacon and eggs in the air!" The angered Akatsuki member grumbled. Kisame, who was standing behind him blinked. Deidara stomped on Itachi's stomach.

He then noticed.

"...eh,Kisame...I think Itachi's dead..."

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Itachi thought he was sleeping. But when he opened his eyes, he saw white clouds. In fact, almost **everything** was white. Except him.

"What the...", Itachi said, observing his surroundings. Suddenly, a puff of smoke poofed right in front of him. Out of the smoke came...

An angel. Who looked exactly like his mom.

"MOTHER!", Itachi exclaimed. Itachi glanced all around, and then at his mother. Who was supposed to be dead. "JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!''

His mother smiled and tugged on his ear.

"Now, now Itachi dear. You shouldn't go an start cursing in heaven. "

"HEAVEN?"

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"It's too bad...", Kisame said, as they stared at Itachi's dead body.

Deidara sighed. "I would have never thought Itachi would go down like this..."

"Saddening...", Sasori said. "That he'd die in his sleep..."

They where all trying to keep they're emotions in, but they couldn't...

Every one of them burst out...

...Laughing...

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"So, I'm in heaven, eh...?", Itachisaid blankly.

"That's right you are!", his mother replied, laughing. "Of course, who said you where going to stay here?"

Itachi blinked. "Well, I knew that...So, _mother_, where is the stairway to hell?"

His mother lughed again. "You can't go hell yet! You still have to get judged!"

Itachi blinked again. "Judged?"

"Yes! Judged! God and Satan will judge you, by your past, and come to a conclusion on whether you'll go to hell or not!"

"And when will a get judged?"

"Right now!"

"What?"

All of the sudden, they're surroundings changed, and they where in what looked like a white courtroom. His mother was gone. Itachi looked up at where the judge was supposed to sit. His eyes widened.

**"Ooooohhh...OH MY GOD! IT'S...GOD!" **

And indeed, there was God. "UCHIHA ITACHI I PRESUME?", God said in a loud voice.

"Errrrr...yes sir..."

"Hmmm...", God mumbled as he looked through some files. "Let's see here, you killed your best friend. Killed your whole clan. Traumatized your little brother. Tortured his teacher. Traumatized your little brother some more, and tried to make him kill his best friend...hmmm..."

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

God took his judge-hammer-thing and rose it...

**"YOU SHALL BE SENTENCED TO..." **

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Kisame, Deidara, and Sasori, stood there all silent, in front of Itachi's grave. Kisame went first.

"Itachi, you where a great team-mate...", Then he stepped back. Sasori's turn.

"We had our arguments, but you where a powerful shinobi...", Sasori stepped back. Lastly, it was Deidara...

"Itachi...You where an asshole."

Kisame and Sasori both whacked him one.

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**"YOU SHALL BE SENTENCED TO..."**

Itachi flinched.

**"...TO...HEL-"**

He was then interrupted by his secretary.

"Sir, we have a problem..."

"What is it Wendy?", God said, bending down to hear what Wendy had to say.

Wendy whispered in his ear.

"Oh, I see...", God said. Then he looked at Itachi.

"Itachi, I'm sorry but, you won't go to heaven or hell...You'll stay on Earth for a bit."

"WHAT?", Itachi yelled.

"Goodbye.", God waved. "Hope to see you soon!"

And then God pulled a lever and Itachi's soul fell back down to Earth.

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"GEEZ!", Deidara roared, rubbing his head. "WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT FOR?"

Kisame and Sasori glared at him.

"Be respectful at a funeral.", Kisame said. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"What? Is Itachi gonna come back alive just cuz I dissed him at his funeral?..psh...", Deidara scowled, rubbing his head some more. "Watch his hand come up right from the ground...heh heh..."

And Itachi's hand did grasp up from the ground.

Deidara screamed like a little school girl.

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Please review! No flames! Thank you!


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